Well, I am officially graduated, so I've just been relaxing most of the time since Saturday.  I'll be working at the computer lab during summer, so that'll bring in some money as I look for my permanent job.  I will re-edit my resume' tomorrow at some point to bring it up-to-date to post-graduate status.

There has been some interesting "goings on" around my neighborhood over the course of the past several days.  My neighbors with three kids noticed that they had their three-kid stroller stolen from their front porch around Sunday, so they called the local "Once Upon a Child" to see if anyone had tried to sell one.  Sure enough, someone did, though they didn't buy it because a part on it was missing (and a part was missing on my neighbors'".  So, the person who worked at the store told my neighbor that they have a white minivan, live on Longfellow Drive, and come in almost everyday.  My neighbors two doors down, who have one kid, also had two things stolen (a sliding board and a wagon). 

Anyhow, my neighbor rode around Longfellow (which is like one or two blocks down) and saw the houses with white minivans and told me which one he thought it was.  I walked to dog down the street to check things out as well, and I thought his guess was definitely a good one as they had one of those "business-type minivans" where you wouldn't be able to see what is stashed in the back.  Anyhow, the police were at my neighbors' today and they officially got the man and woman responsible for the stealing and selling.  The cop stopped at the "Once Upon a Child" to ask the clerks to call them if they see them, and as the cop was about to walk out, the man came in and they arrested him.  Moments later, the woman came in and she was arrested.  Talk about crazy timing!  Prior to this, they went to raid the house and found a bunch of stolen stuff -- IN FACT, THEY HAD IT IN THE FRONT YARD WITH A WOODEN BOARD THAT SAID "FOR SALE" ON IT.  Way to, you know, NOT make it obvious or anything.

The thieves actually did not live at the house Andrew and I thought, which is pretty funny.  They actually were at a house at the end of Longfellow, which always had a soccer net outside and looked kind of run down.  In fact, the woman said "hi" to me before when I walked my dog.  Turns out that she admitted to stealing the stuff and her boyfriend had outstanding warrants and both had prior arrests and a lengthy drug history.  So, they were pretty much getting money to buy drugs by stealing things from neighborhood kids.  Classy.

ACTUALLY, just did a little research via Google Maps, Reverse Search on White Pages, and google, and found that the guy who lived in that house got a divorce in May of 2008, so it's possible that the woman I talked to was not involved and it was a new girlfriend (as I'm pretty sure that the woman I talked to lived at the house at the time, and it's been far longer than May 2008 that I talked to her).  I hope that's the case.

ALRIGHT, I am finally done school. Graduation ceremony is tomorrow and Cal Ripken is the speaker, which is pretty neat. I just want it to be overwith though, so then I can kick back and do nothing important with my time, which is what I do best.

I'm at work now, but tonight is going to be fun as I have to unpack everything from moving. IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE A ROCKET 'CUZ IT'S GOING TO BE A BLAST. Yeah, I went there.

I'll probably hang out with Joe tonight and that'll be cool. And Joe managed to find some extra bass strings from his old art teacher (which was pretty random) and I may be the lucky benefactor of new bass strings, given I need to replace mine. I haven't changed my bass strings once in my eight years of owning this particular one. The 5th string went limp and broke, which is the main reason I'm changing them, but the fact that half of them are turning green because they are so old is also pretty decent reason to, I suppose. AND IF I HAVEN'T MENTIONED IT BEFORE, I NEED TO GET A BASS CUSTOM MADE TO LOOK LIKE A BASS (THE FISH) SO I CAN MAKE A BIG PUN OUT OF IT.

Me: "I play the bass [pronounced like the fish]"
Random Person: "you mean the bass, right?"
Me: "NO, THE BASS" *pulls out bass shaped bass"
Random Person: "OMG, WTF"

I dream of the day I have this conversation other than in my imagination. But you know how that goes.

OMG, the worst stock I ever bought, Toyshare (TYHR), just went up $0.36 to $0.56. I bought 98 shares of it at $1.01 since it spiked up to $20 one random time, and it then after I bought it, it promptly went down to like $0.10. It barely ever moves at all...usually only once every two weeks. LOL, I may still be taking a loss, but anytime the thing moves up I have to take a moment and LOL at my idiocy for buying it in the first place. But, I digress.

I'll be looking into more jobs pretty soon in case I don't land the job I want. It's always good to have a backup plan. I need a week off first to clear my head from finals and all that jazz. But it can now be the focus of my time since school dominated the job search at the time.

Senioritis didn't get me too bad!! Three of my four classes have grades up and I got a B+, B, and B-! The B- class I was afraid of failing, so that turned out EXTREMELY well. My laziness didn't do me in. ALRIGHT! I know I got at the very worst a B in the class I don't have a grade four yet. AWESOME.

Well, I don't feel like writing anymore because I can't think of anything worthy of writing about. So "G'BYE" (in a zombie like voice...you wouldn't get it).

I can't sleeeeeeeeep. AT ALL. I have so much work to do tomorrow to prep for my FINAL two FINALS (notice the clever play on words there...riiiight...), so maybe that's why I can't sleep. My head is just racing for some reason, not even all about school stuff either. School doesn't really stress me much, SO WHY CAN'T I SLEEEEEP!? LAAAAAAAAAME.

Well my dog is sleeping sound, so that's good, :P . I'll go try my luck to see if I can journey into Dreamland too.

[PASTED FROM MY OKCUPID JOURNAL, hahaha :P]
Well, one week away from graduation. Two finals, as well as a ton of backwork I need to finish, are the only obstacles seperating me from being finished with school. Still very unreal to me that it's almost over.

No news on the drama front, which I consider good news. No news is good news at this point in my life. My attitude is strange towards dating and all right now. I mean I am on this site open to dating and all, but it's like I don't know why I am half the time because I don't really want to go back to a relationship at this point. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm not interested in random sex either, so it's like "wtf" is the point. I guess friendship is the main thing I look for at this point. There was one girl I talked to not too long ago for like a week, she was definitely the opposite of the type of person I'm typically friends with (i.e. very promiscuous, cheated on people before, etc.), but I try not to judge and am an "equal opportunity friend" (lol), BUT she was drunk one time when we were talking and definitely asked me if I was interested in a one night stand or possibly more, and I was just like "uhhh" [and note the irony since it is usually the guy who demands this]. Hey, most guys would probably jump at the opportunity to get some no strings attached fun, but I don't roll like that. Not a road I want to travel and am glad to say I never have. Even besides the fact I don't want a disease, I just prefer to build a relationship on emotion, feelings, and communication. Feeling an emotional connection on a deep level with someone is the most important, not the physical "connection" during sex (had to slip in a lame semi-pun, and no pun intended by the use of the phrase "slip in". Well maybe I'll amend that and say pun intended, even though it initially wasn't).

I doubt that I could ever have a relationship with somebody who cheated on someone because I would lack trust in that person, and what's a relationship without trust? Well, I guess just random making out and sex - because it sure ISN'T anything MEANINGFUL.

Another wake up call to how I feel currently about relationships is the fact that I talked to that girl on the phone for like 4 days straight at night, and that reminded me too much of what I loathed with my ex-girlfriend. I talked to my ex-girlfriend EVERY night for like 3 or 4 hours so I had no time to myself at night. My night was just totally shot. I couldn't goof off, hang out with my friends, etc. I guess it comes down to the fact that as it stands right now, I LOVE my freedom and don't want to lose it. I didn't always loathe it -- when my feelings were strong and I was in love with my ex, I enjoyed the long talks. It was only after she became mean and tried to start a fight every night that I loathed it.

There is always a small chance that you'll meet someone who blows you away in every sense of the imagination, and that is why you should never rule out any dates or getting to know anybody. I think that's the best explanation for why I'm on this site. You never really know. I could meet someone today or years down the road who shifts my entire perspective on relationships, and maybe even makes me feel happier to have late-night coverstations every night. It certainly isn't out of the realm of possibility; it's just that after my last disaster of a relationship, my perspective is altered to viewing a relationship as a negative.

It's funny though, because as of now, I can't imagine a girl who is capable of dealing with my sense of humor and my quirks. Pointed sarcasm, corny jokes, and horrible puns are my way of life, and most of the "stereotypical" college girls are into getting drunk and view you as having no life if you aren't into the same. Maybe I'm just generalizing, but it seems that way. I did my best to avoid talking to the mainstream college crowd, though I'm probably being a hypocrite after saying "don't rule anyone out in dating". But hey, I'm a quiet, introverted guy by nature and very few people get to actually know me. Only my close friends -- who I open up to, act like an idiot around, and be the real me around -- could attest to how off-beat I am and how it's a good thing. There just doesn't appear to be many off-beat, non-mainstream girls out there, and that sucks. Or at least if there are, I sure haven't had the pleasure of meeting any of them!

My view has always been if people really want to know me, they'd talk to me. Guess that hasn't always been the best plan in a way, since it's not like I met many new people. It's interesting, because I never realized that some people assume that being "quiet" shows "conceit" or being "stuck up". That's definitely not what I tried to be, but I guess I can see why some people perceive things that way. I don't really regret being quiet though, because although you get a VERY limited number of people talking to you, you do weed out the empty "acquaintances" and just get to know people who have potential to stick as true friends, even if it's a small number.

Well, that sums up most of what I've been thinking about lately, so take care :) Feel free to comment or whatever :P

Well, college is almost over. I am officially at Q-minus 21 days until graduation, which is absolutely insane. It seems just like yesterday that Keith and I were picking out carpet for our dorms as we prepared for what college had in store for us. Flew by WAYYYY to fast, but I'm definitely up for a change of pace. I like learning and all, but the deadlines get annoying. Not like the working world will be any different, but at least I'll be doing practical stuff which will make me happier.

SPEAKING OF, I did finally apply for two jobs. One as an economist with an economic consulting firm called "Global Insight" which is based up on Philly. The other being as a financial analyst with a firm called "Metlife". So, either way, I'll be happy. If neither of the two work out, then I shall figure out other plans - but I shall wait until potential rejection before I take action. That's how I rollllllll...

Another reason I can't wait to graduate is just the free time. I can't wait to start writing and playing music again. It's been forever since I've put a focus on it, but I'm really in the mood to throw stuff on paper and see if it turns out to be anything half-decent. Just jamming with my friend Joe is fun in general, so even if we jammed to covers, it doesn't matter. It's a fun outlet either way, but I think we can throw some creative stuff together if we put in some effort. Yeah, effort, not my favorite word. But I concur.

I just took my dog for a walk and it is nice and cool outside, like 40 degrees or so and a very clear sky. I love nights like that. The last few days have been very humid and in the 70's which has been terrible for me. I HATE humidity with a passion. I can deal with it, but it is hard on me. It makes me feel sick when it first hits - the change of seasons. But, summer isn't bad, so it'll get better once I adjust.

There is currently a moth on my computer screen, but I like moths, so I'm letting it be. I wouldn't kill a moth. They are cool. I still remember the pokemon Venomoth, which was one of my favorites, so moths are cool in my book. With reasoning like that, how can one go wrong. That's right, you can't. Har Har.

Well, it's 4:19am, so I shall hit the hay before a sun ray hits where I lay today and that's all I hafta say.

Goodnight - or morning, if you must be precise. k thx

Hmmmm... well, I am in the mood to write a bit.

This weekend was pretty lackluster, yet kind of not (makes alot of sense *rolls eyes*).  I hung out with Joey on Friday, which was a good time as usual.  I was so tired that night though, I'm trying to remember what we did.  I think we just played some good ol' Super Smash Brothers on the Wii and watched videos online.  I also updated him on my drama, though it's not like there is very much to tell.  Saturday, I watched the NFL Draft and on Sunday, watched some racing. 

Oh yeah, Friday was interesting since I went to work with no sleep.  I drank an energy drink and it still did not keep me awake.  I was totally falling asleep at work.  I remember waking up to someone picking up a poster and my boss and my co-worker Juan were dealing with it - totally something I was supposed to be doing.  I can just imagine the person standing there waiting to be helped and me just snoozing on the keyboard,  hahahaha.  Oh well, my boss was cool about it and when I woke up they were laughing/smiling, and Juan said he didn't want to wake me.  It was weird - in a funny sort of way.  Well, I'm out of it when I pull an all-nighter, and there is my proof.

Well, this week should be pretty busy.  Have an exam on Tuesday and a ton of work to get done for a class in which I have an exam next week.  What's the over/under I get it done?  I'll take the under *rolls eyes*. 

As far as my drama is concerned, I'm pretty much stepping back.  I should just talk to people and let the pieces fall where they may.  That's the best approach anyhow - in fact, everytime something has happened above friendship, it's pretty much been when I've cut down my expectations. 

I have to say, after my two most recent disasters of relationships, I actually reflect more on my very first relationship way back in high school.  It may have lasted about three weeks tops, but it was probably the one in which I felt the most.  Well, I don't know if that is necessarily true - I mean I did feel alot for my second girlfriend (the one that lasted like nine months - my longest relationship) - but there was something about her that wasn't right.  She was just very pushy, and she didn't get along with my mom for stupid reasons.  I was pissed at both her and my mom for acting so dumb about their issues; it blew being stuck in the middle.  If someone truly cares about someone, I don't think you put them in that situation.  I wasn't comfortable around her family either, BUT I dealt with it for her sake.  It was hard to feel too much for her without feeling the anger I had towards her.  It's a shame how things played out, but it was for the best.

ANYHOW, with my first girlfriend Jenna, the way we got together was very sweet.  She is my next-door neighbors' niece, and she was over (along with the rest of my neighbors' extended family) in April of 2004 for a baptism of my neighbors' child.  Me, being pretty much part of their family, went over and hung out with all of them for the day since they were just hanging around and doing whatever.  Really, Jenna was the only other person there my age, so naturally, we hung out.  I bugged her and egged her on about her phone calls that she was getting and she was giggly, so it was a fun time.  I think we went for a walk or something that afternoon out of boredom - after all, pretty much everyone else was drinking and it's not like we could drink at that point.  We just talked about random stuff and all, nothing important, just pretty much getting to know each other since it's not like we really knew each other that well.  Later that night, we all played trivial pursuit, and I was on my neighbor Andrew's team and our team won.  Afterwards, which was about 11pm, we went out on the porch and just talked.  I remember getting my yearbook and telling her all about how my school was, who my friends were, and basically, the lowdown of my senior year.  It was a beautiful spring night - I'd say upper 50's, a little breeze, starry sky.  We talked and talked and talked about our pasts and ex's (well, not really much existed on that front for me, but I did have some stories about girls I liked and whatnot).  We talked all night until about 6am in the morning - and the baptism was at like 9am.  I remember it was really starting to get cold by 5ish or whatever and I remember we had blankets, or I think I brought one out and then I gave it to her since I could tell she was cold.  I remember at one point we were sitting face to face and I remember we just started to hold hands since it was a method of warming up.  It was sweet, even I must admit.  Anyhow, after that and looking into each others eyes for a few minutes, my first kiss just kind of happened.  It was really sweet :)  .  And then we both went inside all smiley and giggly, so it was interesting.  Things fizzled weeks later, but unfortunately, it was more on me.  I was insecure back then, and I let it ruin something good; but, you have to learn lessons the hard way to make sure they don't take over your life :)  .

Anyway, I'm going to catch up on Young and the Restless, so I just wanted to get some thoughts out and relay that story since it still is special to me, regardless of how things ended :)

Goodnight!
-Josh

First things, first.  Today was a bad day from the start.  Woke up at 12:15pm, EXACTLY the time my last class let out, so I missed both of my classes.  Way to go, me!  So, I got up and went straight to work , as I needed to go to work to cover for my friend/co-worker Nabeel, as soon as class ended.  Got there around 12:40, so that was that.  Just the usual there, nothing too spectacular.  Talked to Juan briefly, but he was running around per usual, so didn't talk too much, nor was I really awake/aware enough to hold a decent conversation after I had to get up and rush off to work that quick.  I did get a good night's sleep though - just too much.  Went to bed early for me, around 11:30pm - and STILL somehow overslept.  I have gotten up on time better with lesser amounts of sleep.  I don't necessarily get it, but that's okay.  Shit happens.

SO, this weekend should be my fourth attempt at a weekend full of econometrics, which hasn't happened at all.  Thanks self-discipline - you ALWAYS come through for me!  In other news, I somehow got a 98 on my Government Regulation of Business exam, so don't know exactly how that happened.  I didn't read any of the chapters and barely skimmed my notes and practice tests.  Many of the questions are straight from questions he puts on powerpoints for us to answer on our clickers, and I remembered all of the ones on the exam - and even got ones right that weren't there.  I got all of the multiple choice and there were 25 questions, so that was pretty crazy.  Way to go me!  :)   .  In my Economics of Government Spending and Tax, I got my second consecutive B+ on a test, so I'm doing fine in there too.  English 312 I'm doing relatively well, probably a B.  Econometrics, I'm passing, but I really need to kick my ass into gear and catch up.  On the first exam, I thought I failed since I didn't even bother filling out the last two pages because I was so frustrated, and still got a B-/C+, so there had to have been a major curve.  I thought for sure I had failed.  Weird how things work out as I deserve to be clinging to the edge of the cliff, and instead, I'm inside of a motor home.  Shitty analogy, but you get what I mean.

My "girl situation" has taken an odd turn, so I don't know where that all stands in my mind.  Unfortunately, it has taken over a vast amount of my concentration as I ponder how to deal with a very difficult situation.  It may not be as difficult as I think since she may not even look at me in a dating way, or even if she did, she's leaving the country soon for months until December, and possibly more after that, so it's highly unlikely she'd even really be looking for anything.  I mean, she has shown potential signs of being interested, but others that don't show interest, so it's not like it's a "SHE'S DEFINITELY INTERESTED, LAWL!" type of thing.  But that's okay. 

She's the type of girl who is sweet and funny.  Smart, yet laid-back.  I'm a very perceptive person and I'm happy to say that I can usually get a very, very, very good sense of character the first time I talk to someone.  The second and third times just confirm what I already know, and I already know how great of a person she is.  Maybe that sounds lame, maybe you don't believe me, and maybe you think "Josh, you're a fucking idiot", but I follow my heart while adhering to my smarts.  I overanalyze, but it rarely fails me.  My best friend Keith - who is pretty much like a twin brother to me (and some have even mistaken us for brothers since our mannerisms and all are so similar) - both handle things the exact same way.  Our personas are so similar that it truly is amazing - and we've had so many parallel experiences in our lives.  But that's a different story, I'm getting off topic!  Anyhow, he also is very over-analytical like me, and he also has been right in all of his perceptions in regards to the opposite sex in specific relationship situations.  I've been dead on too - but his success in judging and making decisions leads me to have even more confidence in my ability to trust my judgment.

So what if I overanalyze?  Some people get mad - like the most recent girl I was with.  I remember back in November of this past year when I first talked to her, I'd get irked when she didn't IM me first.  Now, it is true that someone could  be busy - and hey, if it happens only a few times, you have to chalk it up to other possible outside causes; however, if it happens regularly, I think it is very intelligent and logical to conclude that somebody else doesn't feel the same way that you (or I in this case) do.  She got really bugged by it so I pretty much backed off, only for her to come back months later, and then ditch me for another guy, lol!  Anyhow, that's beside the point.  It's all about whether or not people feel the same way and using EVERY potential indicator.  If people want to know you better and are excited to talk to you, don't you think they'd check their buddy list and IM you?  I would think so, BUT one possible flaw with my theory is that when I over-analyze, I rely on the actions of the other person.  If someone else countered with the same logic (which is unlikely) and waited for my actions, then it would be a clusterfuck of nothing.  That'd actually be kind of funny - in a stupid kind of way.

SO anyhow, I talked to this girl I like on the phone and it went relatively well.  She had wit, was funny, smart - you know, all the good qualities a guy could hope for.  I don't understand, for the life of me, how she is still single.  Guys are either too afraid to make a move or too stupid to realize how awesome she is.  Whichever.  Anyhow, after talking to her, I kind of figured that the crossroad is here - I need to wait for her to make a move for better or for worse.  I brought up talking on the phone, so that was my move, and I texted first today (yeah, laugh at my lame logic if you must).  Tomorrow/this weekend is her time to react.  I figure, and this has proven accurate before, if she messages/IM's/calls me tomorrow or this weekend, then that is a sign of POTENTIAL interest (obviously, nothing can be set in stone or is 100% accurate) and shows that I was at least on her mind in some capacity - whether it be that she thought of me out of the blue to text me or something random reminded her of me.  Or she was just checking a text from someone else and saw one of mine and decided to respond.  Either way, it's a good sign.  If she doesn't, then it's pretty obvious that she's not looking for anything more, which is cool.  I mean, being friends with her would be cool, but it would be tough all at once.  I seriously don't think I could date anybody else at all in good conscience knowing that there is someone else I am still very interested in.  And she'd be faraway, AND I'm sure guys where she ends up will be interested - hopefully the people outside the country have more common sense than some of the guys here!  Damn!!  But you know, it would be hard to realistically expect guys not to want her.  I've done long-distance before and I can already tell she's someone who would be WORTH the effort, but effort is one thing and patience is another.  If she finds someone else she cares for there, then it's pretty likely that she'd get to know them better and then I'd be history.  I get attached too quickly, which is problem number one for me, but it's almost like if you find somebody worthwhile and somebody who defies the norms for people our age, you HAVE to hold on to them.  People like her are NOT the norm, they are NOT common, and they are NOT likely to ever be replaceable.  I mean, the same goes for me - I know I'm unique and zany and quirky - one of a kind.  My ex's have proven that by trying to talk to me again MONTHS after breaking up every single time.  They realize "OH FUCK, nobody else listens or is genuine like him" - and it especially occurs when they get stabbed in the back by others they trust.  Sorry they made the choice they did but I don't hang around when I get ditched.  Just my personal policy - ex's can only bring drama and bad news; I really see next to zero benefit of EVER staying friends with an ex.  Some do it though, and more power to you if you can pull it off. 

Others I have been interested in before have had things that made me think they weren't "the one" that I would overlook, whether it be intelligence, kindness, etc... this girl hasn't shown any of the negatives I avoid.  She seems to be an upbeat person and I am 100% confident she is all of the traits that I have described her as. 

Anyhow, I'll just kick back this weekend and see what comes of it all.  It's like a big soap opera. . . dun dun dun, what will happen next in the clusterfuck that is Josh's dating life!!  hahahaha ;P  ... I am confident though, it's not like I am trashing myself as some miserable, horrible person or anything like that, lol.  I know that I'm worth it for whomever I end up with, it's just FINDING that one gem in the pile of rocks that makes life so difficult.  But that's half the fun of it, wouldn't you say?  Drama, relationships, friendships, love, and all of that - it's all the means to an end - happiness.  The ups and downs come with the territory, but if you have a positive attitude, you'll reach the end successfully.  At least as far as I'm concerned.  So hold your head up and enjoy the ride - just try not to crash :)

Now, back to my regularly scheduled homework ---  or at least what should be regularly scheduled and gets pushed off until 4:30am in the fuckin' morning.  Grrrrrrrrreat.

Good night everyone (or GOOD MORNING SINCE IT'S TECHNICALLY MORNING, HAR HAR HAR LOL LOL HAR HAR HAR LOL HAR!)

-Josh   :)

Hmmm... well I've been extremely thoughtful this weekend - unfortunately, not relative to anything I should be thoughtful about (*cough* econometrics *cough*). But, nonetheless, I DO plan on getting alot of work done tonight, which is an upgrade from the lackadaisical attitude that I've become all too familiar with. But, I digress...

I've had some interesting conversations with new people lately, which is pretty cool. There is one in particular who I find super cool, but part of me is afraid to talk to her too much since she's EXACTLY the kind of girl I've looked for forever, and it's like "oh shit." I mean, for real, it's actually pretty scary.

My past relationships have been disasters - one was just downright mean/controlling/bossy, and the other semi-cheated on me - but she wasn't a girl I really thought was best for me long-term, so it was for the best. I suppose I more or less tried to convince myself she COULD be, but I think you can see from the start whether someone is or isn't. Better to learn these lessons now rather than down the road. That left me thinking, all I've ever really wanted was a girl who had a killer sense of humor and was smart to boot. I really started to think that was too much to ask...

Anyhow, with this girl, I'm afraid of getting emotionally attached. This girl is easily the kind of girl where that could happen. She's funny, nice, and smart - what a killer combo! I don't know if it's smart for me to get attached given if it didn't work, that would hurt for AWHILE. You know, when the recent girl cheated on me, I only felt kind of bummed about it for a day and that was it. It didn't really hurt that bad at all... BUT, with this girl, I KNOW it totally would last quite awhile. I know that for fact. She's just everything any sensible guy could possibly want. It's a shock she doesn't have a boyfriend - don't know how that's possible. Perhaps I'll use this opportunity to bust out a quote from Arrested Development's main man Michael Bluth - "she's a once in a lifetime girl". She totally is.

Hmm, well, "WHAT A PICKLE I FOUND MYSELF IN!" (lol). As Sonic the Hedgehog would say in the old cartoons, "THAT'S NO GOOD!" ;P

Keeps life interesting though, I suppose :) . It's actually nice to have a dilemma like this for one reason: it's cool to get to know someone as awesome as her. It's not often people like her come around, so if ANYONE ever meets someone of the opposite sex (or same sex for those with that preference) who is one-of-a-kind awesome, realize how lucky you are!

IN OTHER NEWS, a Mario cartoon I watched made a great pun. Mario was mistaken for the son of a mummy woman (who was hugging him) and Mario was like "if you weren't so WRAPPED UP in yourself..." (get it, 'cuz the mummy is wrapped up, har har). I laughed really hard.

-Josh

I went for a nice long walk with the pup on this beautiful night. It is about 58 degrees outside with clouds passing by the mooon. Absolutely gorgeous. Walked around with my IPod and listened to some Weezer, especially the intro of their song "The World Has Turned And Left Me Here." There is something so "summer-esque" about that song, and I'm not even a "hot weather" type of person. It's more or less the spring/summer nights that are stunning and nostalgic. I got to thinking about all kinds of things I've never really done that would be awesome to share with the right girl, whether it be someone I'm dating or a best friend. Stupid, corny, childish stuff. Things like going down to the creek/woods by my house anywhere from midnight to whenever with a flashlight in the pitch black and trying to find each other, hearing only the sounds of nature and the creek. Someday I'd like to own a beach house. I've never even really been big on the beach either. But there is something totally appealing about being out on the beach in the cool sand after midnight when the boardwalk is next to empty and just kicking back on the sand and enjoying the breeze and the calm that the atmosphere brings. It's strange since it's not like these things have always been things I've always wanted to or anything like that - in fact, things I've never even really desired to do - but it's about the childish whims and my personality that would be awesome to share with someone similar. There has to be someone around this state or something who is actually like that. Willing to be mature but totally immature at the same time. Someone who gets me for all my quirks and lameness! It's a good thought and I KNOW someone is out there like that... the trouble is simply just finding them.

I don't know. I just got cheated on the other day by a girl I was in a "mini-relationship" (since it had been no more than two-and-a-half weeks), but some guy she liked since high school kissed her so you can guess how the rest went. She wanted the second "little break" within the past two weeks, so I pretty much figured where her heart was and set her free. I couldn't have dealt with the wondering and the lack of trust anyhow, but sometimes you are better off just letting go. Take your knocks, learn your lessons, and move on. That simple. I moved on pretty quick though. I can't lie and act as though it didn't sting at first, but after the first few days, I've done extremely well. Even today, when I went over my friend Joe's, I was laughing about whether or not he saw the changes to my relationship status on facebook "stalker-feed." He said he had as he saw the "(my name) & (her name) are no longer in a relationship" and the "(my name) is now listed as single," both with the hilarious broken heart icon. I was laughing really hard at it. I don't know why, but it really just struck me funny. I guess part of it is I simply laugh off the bad stuff because it sure beats complaining about it and never letting stuff go. That's no fun at all and you just end up miserable. I've been down that road once upon a time, and let me tell you, it's not very pleasant - but I'm sure just about everyone has hit a low at some point in their lives. That's life for you :)

Now, I'm in a state of pondering how I make my next move. What is the next step I take? Well, signing up for this is a step, I suppose. If you truly believe someone is out there for you and you aren't meeting them through conventional methods, to me, it is foolish not to exercise all methods possible to find that person. And that can be in either the context of friendship or dating. It doesn't matter. A person who supports you is a person who supports you. I just want to meet loyal, real people, because you simply can't trust very many people today. At least my experiences have told me that. There are plenty of people my age (I won't stereotype and say "the majority" or "everyone") who are very deceitful and fake and just want to screw around with no strings attached. I've only kissed three girls in my life at age 22, and I'm happy about that. I guess I fell hard for all three, which was possibly a mistake that I've learned from, BUT you can't help what happens naturally and it wasn't like I pushed hard and kissed them at all. All of them just happened. Like the whole stare in the eyes, move closer, "oh crap we're kissing" type deal, haha. But one can't have any (or at least, many) regrets; every experience has been a building block to the dude behind the keyboard typing these vary words.

Well, maybe someday my quest for a girl as a best friend or more will be completed. But until then, I'll just keep thinking and dreaming because that can be more fun than reality. Getting lost in thought is a great thing, it helps you realize your hopes and dreams, what is important to you, and how you envision yourself down that road. Some people may think it sounds crazy, or even depressing, but it really is relaxing. It gives you goals and helps you to start planning a path to get what you want. That's important everyone, so you should give it a shot if you are philosophical or just like thinking and the imagination. I'll probably go for another walk tonight - don't know how the weather is going to be for the remainder of the week and walks around the neighborhood when nobody is out sure beats walking around a crowded campus. That's a perk of coming home and seeing the pup and the family on the weekend.

Well, I've typed enough so good night and sweet dreams, world :)

 Well, I'm starting to fall behind in my econometrics class.  Feels like I'm staring at fucking gibberish when I read some of that shit.  I was good up until we jumped into blocked diagonal regressions... I'll figure it out, I just have to exercise some damn self-discipline since, well, that never happens.  I can't concentrate on anything these days... prettttty lame.

On a brighter note, I did just notice that my birthday is only ten days away - almost 22.  Geez, I remember the days of riding around in my Power Wheels fire truck.  Damn, where have all the years gone? (stereotypical quote).  Last semester of college too, so once I'm out in the real world, the whole age thing will really sink in.  Kind of sucks, even when the work pisses me off, I do like the college life overall.  I'll miss it some, but onto the next challenge.  Maybe I'll like the real world even more.  I'll find out soon enough **shrugs**

That's all I feel like writing for now, perhaps there will be more to come.  I figure if I'm in the mood to blog or rant, I'll just write in this thing. Read it if you want, LAWL